Pull My Hair Out 1/16/10

Today, this is exactly what I wanted to do...

pull my hair out...

on several occasions.

For the past few months, shopping with Jake has almost become more of a hassle than it's worth. He is so uncontent while I'm trying to buy food that we need for the week or pick out a movie to rent or even more importantly, peruse through a sale rack at Belk. He's constantly asking me if he can get down and play or touch something or if he can have every single thing he lays his eyes on. "Can me have dis?", he says...1,000 times!

Don't get me wrong...he's not this way every single time we go out...just a low 95% of the time. Yes...some how, some way, some days he pulls it off and manages to surprise me...like last Sunday afternoon when we went grocery shopping. But then days like today come along, and I find myself wanting to...

pull my hair out.

You've heard me say that today we were planning on meeting my mom, sister, and niece at the Galleria in Birmingham to do some shopping. I knew going in, I would be lucky if I managed to actually do some "real" shopping for more than 15 minutes, but I didn't let it get me down. I went into today with no expectations other than enjoying seeing my family with the need to return a few items and look primarily at two stores for specific things.

For the first 30 minutes (nearly a lifetime, isn't it?), I have to give him credit. He did really well other than running away with his cousin Emily and ignoring me when I told him to tell his Grandma thank you for the monkey she bought him at the Build-A-Bear Workshop (which he did do a little later in the day...thank his grandma).

After this first episode of defiance and me grabbing his arm and threatening that I would take away his brand new monkey, we made our way to the food court for lunch. I decided I would carry him at this point, especially after the running he just did and me fearing he would really get away from me. As an understatement, he was not the least bit happy about this, and yet again, I found myself wanting to...

pull my hair out.

We had a great lunch talking about Jake's upcoming 3rd birthday, the buckling down my mom is having to do on eating sugar, and the reminder of what a joy it is to be a woman on a monthly basis while passing out french fries and chicken nuggets and making sure drinks didn't get spilled.

Once we called it quits on lunch, we set out to get accomplished what we had really come to do. And with no surprise to me at all, the dissatisfaction creeped back in as quickly as it left at the lunch table; and as I listened to the whines, squeals, and moans of my unhappy 2-year old, I couldn't help but look around me at all the other toddlers sitting so quietly in Gymboree as their mommies shopped until their hearts were content. But not Jake. His seatbelt held him tight while his legs kicked, his back arched, and his arms reached out for me. If he would only stay with me and not run away; or if he would hold my hand like I've asked him to, freedom would be his. But because he chooses not to do these things, his stroller is still necessary. I contemplated more threats and a firm pinch but instead decided to remain quiet, ignore his behavior, and simply wanted to...

pull my hair out.

This happened again...and then once more...but fortunately for me and my scalp, I was able to refrain from grabbing a handful and taking a big yank. I thought first about how badly it would hurt and then how I would look.

We left the mall and made our way safely home and have since then decided to put our feelings aside. The moment came when he asked to go potty. I followed him to the bathroom, and he climbed on his stool. I pulled his pants down for him, and then he placed his hand under my chin and whispered, "I okay now. Mommy. You my best fwiend."

So at the end of the day, I'm thankful to say my hair and our love for each other is still in tact.

We couldn't possibly love each other more...

and my hair can still be made into a ponytail.