Limbo 4/26/10

Right now I'm sitting at my computer in a room by myself watching Dancing With The Stars (because, let's face it...Jim nor Jake have any desire to watch it with me). My face is blue. I just washed it, and I applied a deep cleansing mask. I've started doing this more regular. I found it keeps the oil and dirt down, and my skin looks so much better. I'm also cutting quilt squares when a commercial comes on (I'll blog more about my new project later on.). Jim is reading Llama Llama Red Pajama to Jake. He's also watching TV in another room...House, to be exact. And yes, I realize none of this has anything to do with the title of this post, but I just thought I would throw it all in in case you were wondering how we're spending our time on a Monday night.

So to get to what I came to say - I feel like Jim and I are in serious limbo right now. So many decisions are up in the air for us. Jim's retirement date is steadily approaching...September 1st is the first date that he can file retirement papers. He's been told by the United States Air Force where to live, how long to live there, what job to do while he's there for over 20 years, but now it's time to do something different. Exactly what, we're not sure. That's kind of where the limbo part comes in. We're not sure where life will take us next. At this point, I feel like Tuscaloosa is where we'll be. Mostly this is because we've formed attachments. I have my job. We have our friends. We have a church home. We have Jake. That's especially where it gets tricky. We both know as he gets older, changing schools, making new friends, learning new routines, will only get harder. These are things that don't allow us to move forward. Take this past week for example. Jim proceeded to take pictures of the outside of our house to use on a "For Sale By Owner" ad. He even did some research on advertising and commonly asked real estate questions. We thought it would be best to go ahead and put our house up for sale and possibly rent until we're more sure about "what comes next." It cuts more of the strings that hold us here in case Jim doesn't find the right job when he's out in the "civilian" world. It's one less thing that keeps us from being separated later on...me staying here to try to sell our house while Jim works and lives elsewhere. Frankly, it's very stressful...wondering what to do, wondering how to prepare, if there's a need to prepare for any change at all. Who knows...we could be right here, two, three, five years from now. On the other hand, we could possibly be living in another city by this time next year.

So what do we do in the midst of it all? We keep living life, we keep doing what we normally do (like running into Jake's room when he calls for us to come see the bat on his TV...not literally, of course...we can thank Wow! Wow! Wubbzy for that one), and we leave it all at the feet of our Saviour. Only He has the right answer. Only He knows what the future holds. We remain still, listening for His voice. And when we hear Him, we'll know we are in His will and following His plan for us. We also rest easy knowing that God is never in limbo. He always knows what next and always a plan. And knowing Him, it's better than one that Jim or I could ever decide upon for ourselves.