It's moving day...and I'll cry if i want to 2/13/11

Yesterday, Parker made the move - the one I've known was going to happen but kept putting off. Sigh... What I'm trying to say is, he's no longer a semi-permanent resident in mine and Jim's bedroom. He's in his very own room - in his very own bed - surrounded by his very own belongings.

And I keep asking myself why I'm having such a hard time with this. Is it because he's my second born? And my last? Is it because I'm just overly emotional? And is that because I've had my tubes tied? Is it because I know a chapter in his little life has already closed? And because I know now more than ever after watching Jake grow up to be almost four in just a couple of weeks, that time truly does fly by? I'm still pondering...

And I really didn't intend for it to be M-Day. But yesterday morning I woke up in a down-to-the-nitty-gritty cleaning mode (I guess that's what happens when I haven't actually been the one to clean my house since December when I went on bed rest. My amazing husband - whom I have no idea what I would do without and appreciate in a thousand plus ways - has been doing it all. And I can't leave out my mom, either. She's been a relief and a huge help not only to me, but to him too with keeping it tidy around here over the past five weeks). And had this happened any time before January, I would have sworn it was just me nesting. Or maybe this was the nesting I never did. Hmmm... Anyway, this sort of cleaning "spree" I was on had me moving furniture out to vacuum behind it (including the baseboards)...even getting behind the washer and dryer in our laundry room. And when I moved Parker's pack-n-play out of our bedroom into his, it just sort of stayed there.

I fought the urge to move it back in the place it's been for more than four weeks. I kept telling myself it might be easier to just do it - to just get it over with. Jim said, "There's no rush" (Yes, even he realizes how fleeting these moments are). But even then, I felt as if I didn't face it yesterday, it would have to be one day and no less easy.

So I stuck with my decision, I stuck Parker in his crib, and I stuck it out. He slept like the baby that he is, and actually so did I - other than the one time that I'll admit to getting out of bed unnecessarily to take a peek at him.

Now if I can just get used to the feeling that our room doesn't have a lick of furniture in it, I think I'll be okay.

Sigh...